“Screenwriter David Sheffield won this year’s Faux Faulkner contest by imagining what it would have been like if William Faulkner… had written for the Three Stooges. Sheffield’s 550-word script, “As I Lay Kvetching,” has Moe, Larry and Curly renovating a home with the eye-gouging, nose-twisting slapstick guided by plenty of Faulknerian stage directions: ‘At last it is Curly who picks up the plank, rough hewn and smelling of sweet gum, and — feeling the weight and heft and fiber of it — swings it innocently (bending to retrieve the tool, the ball-peen hammer dropped casually on Larry’s toe) and feeling the awful force of the blow as it (the plank) catches Moe upside his head.'”