Britons Agonize Over Why No One Liked Their Song

Britain has won five Eurovision Song Contests. So Britons are furious that their representative this year didn’t pick up a single vote. politics to blame? Maybe a “post-Iraqi backlash”? Or were viewers in Europe “engaging in political voting against a country out of step with the rest of Europe?” Maybe there an “element of vote-rigging going on, with geographical allies voting for each other.”

Art Students To Implant Human DNA In Trees?

A pair of art students in London plan to implant human DNA in trees and grow them. “If an apple tree was used, it would provide an edible as well as a visible reminder. Like the rest of the tree, the fruit would contain human DNA. ‘Implanting your grandmother’s DNA into an apple tree brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘Granny Smith’. But would you eat an apple from your grandma’s tree’?”

What Mr. Wilson Learned

Playwright August Wilson takes to the stage himself for the first time in his new play in Seattle. “The 100-minute play, ‘How I Learned What I Learned,’ is brightened by sudden flashes of poetry and unfolds like a meeting between Dylan Thomas and Malcolm X. The dramatic high point comes when Mr. Wilson leaps into the character of a man in one of his stories who fatally knifes an acquaintance in a bar. He jumps around the stage, curses wildly, slashes the air and brutally kicks his imagined victim.”

Van Sant Wins Cannes

Gus Van Sant’s “Elephant” wins the grand prize at Cannes. “It was certainly exceptional for an American film, the first ever submitted for the festival competition by HBO, to be acknowledged in such a way. ‘Elephant’ is a documentary-like examination of an ordinary day in a mostly white, middle-class high school in which the calm is splashed with a corrosive burst of violence: two boys arm themselves and begin shooting.”

England Scores A Goose Egg (Oh, The Shame!)

In this weekend’s Eurovision Song Contest, Britain’s entry scored no points. None. Nada. Zip. “An estimated 150 million viewers across the length and breadth of the continent witnessed this national humiliation. They not only watched it; they conspired to bring it about through telephone voting. One German newspaper was quick to grasp the true significance of what had occurred: ‘England, motherland of pop, in last place!’ This is what is known in English as schadenfreude.”

Understanding Dia

Dia:Beacon, which opened last week in an old Nabisco factory about an hour north of Manhattan, may be the largest contemporary art museum in the world, with its 300,000 square feet of space. “To understand the ethos of the Dia Center, and how it came to convert such a cathedral-like space as Dia:Beacon, you have to go back to Dia’s inception.”

Arm Or Armpit? That Is The Question

Has the British Museum mislabeled a marble fragment from the Acropolis Marbles? The museum says it is a left arm. An expert maintains it is a right arm from another part of the pediment altogether. “That is not an armpit. They have mistaken the little depression between the tendons behind the arm for the armpit itself. It is a right arm. It won’t fit the figure of Iris because it doesn’t come from that figure.”

Upscale Melbourne, Downside For Music

Melbourne has a lively music scene. “But it’s a scene that is in danger of dying, according to some venue owners around town. The pub proprietors say that as house and apartment prices in the inner city have soared, home owners’ expectations have changed. The new, more affluent residents have important jobs, peaceful lifestyles to live. They don’t want to be kept awake at night by guitars and drums. Their complaints about noise to councils and liquor-licensing bodies are increasingly being taken seriously.”