“You could say that classical music has sex on the brain, which, as D H Lawrence said, is a very bad place to have it. Bad or not, it makes for something jarringly out of tune with current notions of sexiness. How on earth can you combine the sublimated, secret yearnings of Brahms’s chamber music with the up-front sexiness of, say, Bond? The short answer is, you can’t. They belong to different worlds. It would be like adding lip gloss to the Mona Lisa.”