Oops! Congress Accidentally Funds The Arts

From the groundbreaking news organization that brought you such exclusive reports as “White House Pretty Sure Uzbekistan Diplomat Stole A Bunch Of Soap” comes stunning news concerning the U.S. Congress. It seems that the nation’s top legislative body has accidentally approved a large amount of money to be spent on the arts. Members of Congress are, quite naturally, horrified by the revelation, with the Senate majority leader quoted as barking, “We approved what?” A House member was aghast at the implications of the funding allocation: “This means some limp-wristed NEA member will decide what qualifies as art rather than Congress or the president. Remind me never to skim a bill again, no matter how long it is.”