Quick, Gimme 500 Shares Of Lost, And Sell All My Tom Cruise!

Playing the stock market is risky business, and let’s face it, it’s damn boring, besides. If only we could buy stock in, oh, say, the cast of Desperate Housewives, and watch it soar as the dork in the cubicle next to us chokes on his overzealous 200-share purchase of Geena Davis. That would be truly excellent. Hmm? We can do that? Oh. Very good, then.

Sydney, Supersized

It’s Sydney Biennale time again, and if there’s one word to describe this year’s edition, it’s “big.” From “an installation of 180,000 hand-sized clay figurines” to “a cunning combination of twisted modernist aesthetics and surveillance technology” that fills a room, Sydney is awash in outsized art.

V&A Bars Sinn Fein Leader

London’s Victoria & Albert Museum has removed Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams from the guest list for a major exhibition of “revolutionary” art, saying that his presence would be inappropriate. The exhibit’s curator, a personal friend of Adams’, is reportedly furious, but the V&A is so far standing firm. Adams led the political wing of the Irish Republican Army when the IRA was regularly mounting terrorist attacks on London, and many Britons hold him responsible, despite the IRA’s recent decision to lay down arms.

Now That’s Investigative Journalism

A reporter for the BBC has returned a 16th-century portrait by Florentine painter Alessandro Allori to a Berlin museum after discovering that the work was an original looted during World War II, and not a copy, as he had previously thought. Charles Wheeler was given the painting by a German farmer in 1952, but only thought to look into its origins last year.

Curtain To Rise Again In Scotland

Scottish Opera has unveiled its new season, and that in itself has to be considered an accomplishment, considering the turmoil the company has been in over the past two years. “Scottish Opera ceased full-scale opera productions for nearly a year and lost its permanent chorus in a major restructuring to pay off its debts,” but its new director says that it should be smooth sailing for the foreseeable future.